Look at the guy sweating over the controls at the top of this page. That is the exact moment the ‘Man Behind the Curtain’—which is just your own ego, outdated habits, and your expectations of other people—realizes he is completely out of control.
When your own internal navigation fails like that, your life defaults to one of two realities. Take a look below to see your options—and to choose your next step.
On one side, we have “The Aloha Dive.” Look at her. A woman is at an underwater desk, a hundred feet below the surface. She’s on the phone, calm as the current, closing the “Acme Global” deal while a reef shark cruises by. There’s no panic. Her buoyancy is perfect. She isn’t fighting the pressure; she’s using it. She’s directing progress from a place of supreme capability because she engineered a reality that allows for this level of serenity. She’s rejuvenated, she’s deep, and she’s in total control.
Then, look at “The Emerald City Meltdown.” Look at Dorothy—she’s finally snapped. She’s mid-tantrum, flipping the bird to the Tin Man and the Scarecrow while scaring the absolute crap out of her precious, beloved Toto. In the background, the Wicked Witch isn’t even attacking; she’s just leaning against a tree with a smug grin, watching Dorothy do her own self-destruction for her.
Dorothy isn’t a villain. She’s just a high-achiever who has lost focus on her core values (like family). Instead of aligning her actions, she is hiding behind her own curtain—one created by her fears, her baggage, the expectations of other people, and no clear action steps to achieve her goal of getting home. She’s experiencing nitrogen narcosis of the soul (that “rapture of the deep” where the pressure makes you feel drunk, disoriented, and prone to making life-threatening mistakes).
The Solution: Serenitizing
Most people spend their lives in that Oz nightmare, reacting to ghosts and screaming at their “crew” because they’re exhausted by the friction of their own history.
Serenitizing is the solution of the Living Step philosophy. It’s the process of removing that friction. It’s not about “calming down”—it’s about intentionally finding your peace. It’s how you move from the “Meltdown” to the “Aloha Dive.”
I use a toolkit of 21 specialized tools to make this happen. Here are a few to show you how we might stop the meltdown and start the “Aloha Dive” results. As always with my coaching, circling back to your Core Values:
- The Legacy Lens: This isn’t about the pride of “leaving a legacy”—that’s just ego talking, and ego is a lead weight that’ll drown you. The Legacy Lens is about looking backward to see clearly forward. It asks: “What in my past is coloring my judgment right now? Is this threat real today, or am I just reacting to an old story I haven’t deleted yet?”
- The Dorothy Example: Look at her legacy assumption. She’s convinced: “Never listen to the Scarecrow; he doesn’t have a brain.” But the Legacy Lens makes her pause and check her gauges: “Wait a minute—is that actually true right now, or am I just stuck in my old story? Maybe he’s right. Let me consider that.”
- The Aloha Diver Example: Our pro in the scuba gear didn’t get there by accident. She didn’t take the first 100 “Nos” personally or see them as a reflection of her worth. She looked at her history, realized a “No” wasn’t a ghost out to get her, and kept adapting to the customer’s needs rather than her own ego. She didn’t let a “No” at 20 feet keep her from the “Yes” at 100.
- Core Value Alignment: Most people’s Action Steps are moving East while their Core Values are pointing West. That friction is what makes you want to flip people off. We align your daily “to-do” list with your “to-be” list so there’s zero drag in the water.
- Clean Public Communications: Instead of screaming at the Scarecrow for “not having a brain,” we use precision-grade communication to set expectations. No blurry instructions, no hidden agendas—just 100% clarity, like a dive in the Kona Coast.
Stop Being a Slave to the “Wizard”
You don’t have to live in a state of perpetual Flying Monkey attacks. Whether you’re poolside in Kauai or in the trenches of a corporate merger, you can choose to be the scuba-diver closing the deal.
But you have to stop hoping for a Good Witch to save you and start building your own road. You have to match your Core Values to your Action Steps so your Next Steps actually lead somewhere you want to go.
If you’re tired of scaring the people (and the pets) you love because you’re overwhelmed by the ‘Man behind the curtain’—that exhausted, frantic version of yourself trying to control everything—it’s time to hire a coach.
The Living Step Daily App is your navigation tool for this journey. It’s where we track the Core Value Matching and ensure your history isn’t sabotaging your future. Use the Gratitude Dropdowns, get your C.A.L.M. daily reviews going. Commitment to Action Steps in writing, and start Serenitizing your world today.
The Wicked Witch is waiting for you to trip. Don’t give her the satisfaction. Stay deep. Stay serene.
